Comedy Quotes

2637 quotes by 1344 authors

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. — Rita Rudner
I think, in a written novel, the way in which you play with the readers' emotion or the way in which you engage the readers'… — Salman Rushdie
I think it would be harder for me not to write comedy because the comic view of things is the one that comes most naturally… — Richard Russo
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. — Richard Russo
A sign now of success with a certain audience when you do a short comedy piece, anywhere, is that it gets on YouTube and gets… — Andy Samberg
My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. — Adam Sandler
Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire! — Adam Sandler
I'll continue to make the typical Adam Sandler comedies. — Adam Sandler
The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't… — Adam Sandler
I had wanted to do a comedy. — Gus Van Sant
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' — Susan Sarandon
You can't do comedy with a beard. — Alexei Sayle
My son is trying to be a sports writer, and my daughter is a college student. She wants to be a comedy writer, and she's… — Howard Schultz
If I were given a choice between two films and one was dark and explored depraved, troubled or sick aspects of our culture, I would… — David Schwimmer
I think I would do a much better job if I had a chance to do things that were edgier than I get to do… — Sean William Scott
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. — Jerry Seinfeld
I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the… — Jerry Seinfeld
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. — Jerry Seinfeld
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. — Jerry Seinfeld
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because… — Jerry Seinfeld

Who Wrote These Comedy Quotes

1,344 authors contributed a total of 2,637 Comedy Quotes, led by these top contributors: