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Call Quotes by Jack Handey
- Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been…
- I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his…
- If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which…
- I wish I could shrink down to the size of an ant. And maybe there would be thousands of other people shrunken down to ant-size,…
- I'm just guessing, but probably one of the early signs that your radarscope is wearing out is something I call "image fuzz-out." But I've never…
- When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I…
- Let's be honest: Isn't a lot of what we call tap dancing really just nerves?
- Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant,…
- I hate it when people say somebody has a "speech impediment", even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings. So instead, I call…
- A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to…
- Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we…
More Call Quotes
- With a goose-quill and a few sheets of paper, I mock myself of the universe. They say I am the son of… — Pietro Aretino
- The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. — Richard Bach
- To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. — Isaac Asimov
- To insult someone we call him 'bestial. For deliberate cruelty and nature, 'human' might be the greater insult. — Isaac Asimov
- Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just… — Dave Attell
- All fiction is about people, unless it's about rabbits pretending to be people. It's all essentially characters in action, which means characters… — Margaret Atwood
- There's a difference between describing and evoking something. You can describe something and be quite clinical about it. To evoke it, you… — Margaret Atwood
- The same thing which is now called Christian religion existed among the ancients. They have begun to call 'Christian' the true religion… — Saint Augustine