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Bad Quotes by Jack Handey
- Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
- Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the very tip-top and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because…
- Whenever I need to "get away", I just get away in my mind. I go to my imaginary spot, where the beach is perfect and…
- Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside,…
- Too bad there's not such a thing as a GOLDEN skunk, because you'd probably be PROUD to be sprayed by one.
- If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I…
- I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not…
- Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked…
- Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go…
- I guess more bad things have been done in the name of progress than any other. I myself have been guilty of this. When I…
- Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas.
More Bad Quotes
- I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing. — Dario Argento
- Characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner. — Aristophanes
- Bad men are full of repentance. — Aristotle
- It is the role of good journalism to take on powerful abusers, and when powerful abusers are taken on, there's always a… — Julian Assange
- Bad things are not the worst things that can happen to us. Nothing is the worst thing that can happen to us! — Richard Bach
- I would not suggest the U.S. should sit down with the North Koreans bilaterally immediately after they've fired missiles - because the… — Richard Armitage
- There are some forms of religion that are bad, just as there's bad cooking or bad art or bad sex, you have… — Karen Armstrong
- If my forgeries looked as bad as the CBS documents, it would have been 'Catch Me In Two Days'. — Frank Abagnale