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Asked Quotes by Steven Wright
- When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
- Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
- I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
- When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'
- When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
- Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
- I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
- The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.
- I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.
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