All Terry Pratchett Quotes
- He thought about how it might be to be, say, a fox confronted with an angry sheep. A sheep moreover, that could afford to employ… Afford
- Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue. Grinning
- Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous. Inspirational
- If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter. Butter
- What did I tell you about Mister Safety Catch?' said Vimes weakly. When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend,'… Catch
- I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire! Bucket
- It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there… Attempt
- He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway. Expectancy
- He's out of his depth on a wet pavement. Depth
- DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT. Albert
- They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up, which was how Lady Ramkin would almost certainly have put it and which was definitely several letters of the… Almost Certainly
- Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped. Banana
- Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association. Association
- His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation. Ask
- I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to… Bright
- Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs. Children
- Now he knew: They were real. Who’d make up a thing like this? Okay, one of them was a cheese that rolled around of its… Accord
- They always gives me bath salts," complained Nobby. "And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I… Always Gives
- Someone got killed up here.... It was outside. A tall man. He had one leg longer’n the other. And a beard. He was probably a… All
- He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk. Attempting
- They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and… All
- If you don't know when to be a human being, you don't know when to be a witch. Human
- I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o'… Aroound
- Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a… Ancestry
- The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret. [Fred. Free.] Fred