All Terry Pratchett Quotes
- What is magic? There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least… Bananas
- If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and… All
- He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower. Been
- Insanity is catching. Catching
- I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat. -Lord Vetinari Collar
- One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had… Breakfast
- We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything. Death
- In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this? Founder
- I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?' If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if… Bad
- Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough. Brave
- Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things. Inspirational
- One day a tortoise will learn how to fly. Day
- If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you. Book
- Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom. Experience
- Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have… Been
- Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane? Anything Last
- I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm".… Bar
- It's still magic even if you know how it's done. Magic
- But is all this true?" said Brutha. Didactylos shrugged. "Could be. Could be. We are here and it is now. The way I see it… All
- Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than… Aziraphale
- She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you. Already Learning
- It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocalypse. Apocalypse
- You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we… All
- Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one. Fantasy
- Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar. Crowbar