All Terry Pratchett Quotes
- I thought unicorns were more . . . Fluffy. Fluffy
- Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans! Beans
- This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome… Castle
- Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized. Abundance
- Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies. Elves are glamorous. They project glamour. Elves… Bad
- And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of… Best
- She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that… Beat
- Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. But people have always been dimly aware of the problem with the start of things. They wonder how… Aware
- Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu... was like putting something very… Annoyed
- Bill Door was impressed. Miss Flitworth could actually give the word "revenue", which had two vowels and one diphthong, all the peremptoriness of the word… Actually Give
- The landscape was snow and green ice on broken mountains. These weren't old mountains, worn down by time and weather and full of gentle ski… Adolescent
- The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes. Adventure
- Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be… Cut
- Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck. Bed
- I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS… Bitterly
- Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving. Coming
- Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained. Contained
- The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has… All
- I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant," said Blouse. "Right you are, sir!" said the sergeant. "Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin', I want… Added
- No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?" "What?" "Oh,… Absurd
- An Assassin, a real Assassin had to look like one-black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what… All
- What's a philosopher?' said Brutha. Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head. Bright
- No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in… Bicycle
- … people didn't seem to be able to remember what it was like with the elves around. Life was certainly more interesting then, but usually… Able
- Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other… Blessing