All Terry Pratchett Quotes
- Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken. Chicken
- I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted. Aging
- A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. Black
- What’s this here,” he said suspiciously, “about us got to give you faggots?” Oh, we have to have them,” said Newt, “We burn them.” Say… Broadened
- Divers alarums and excursions', she read, uncertainly. 'That means lots of terrible happenings, said Magrat. 'You always put that in plays.' Alarums and what?', said… Alarums
- Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is… Achieve
- ...the proliferation of luminous fungi or iridescent crystals in deep caves where the torchlessly improvident hero needs to see is one of the most obvious… Causality
- The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned by no later than the date shown;… Book
- Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you. Drug
- Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of… Ant
- If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember. Bastards
- Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. Artificial
- Night poured over the desert. It came suddenly, in purple. In the clear air, the stars drilled down out of the sky, reminding any thoughtful… Air
- He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at. Aim
- I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel. Angel
- A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him? I make no… American
- They called themselves the Munrungs. It meant The People, or The True Human Beings. It's what most people call themselves, to begin with. And then… Been
- And what would humans be without love?" RARE, said Death. Death
- What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man? Care
- Cutangle: While I'm still confused and uncertain, it's on a much higher plane, d'you see, and at least I know I'm bewildered about the really… Absolutely
- Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?" Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?" There… Albert
- If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life. Cynical
- He was currently wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were. Chandon
- It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching? Discworld
- Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual. Any