All P.J. O'Rourke Quotes
- A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it. Firm
- Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time. Amusing
- Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is. Consist
- Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch. Clitoris
- A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes… Call
- Rich white Protestant men have held on to some measure of power in America almost solely by getting women, blacks, and other disadvantaged groups to… Almost Solely
- Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun. Difference
- In the Third World, honk your horn only under the following circumstances: 1. When anything blocks the road. 2. When anything doesn't. 3. When anything… All
- Good manners are a combination of intelligence, education, taste and style mixed together so that you don't need any of those things. Any
- Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning. Bed
- People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. Funny
- Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. Else Nothing
- A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking. Humorist
- All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. All
- Lust, Pride, Sloth, and Gluttony, or, as we call them these days, "getting in touch with your sexuality," "raising your self-esteem," "relaxation therapy," and "being… Bulimic
- .......the poor of the world cannot be made rich by redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped poverty, taking their… Bad
- I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro… Air Travel
- Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges. Air
- America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking and pretty soon… All
- This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans. America
- Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators spend half their… America
- West Germans are tall, pink, pert and orthodontically corrected, with hands, teeth and hair as clean as their clothes and clothes as sharp as their… All
- The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance, they invented algebra.… Algebra
- I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller… Always Figured
- The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we… America