All P.J. O'Rourke Quotes
- Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. Children
- There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Among
- There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon. Fact
- If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government
- Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. Animal
- Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent! Excellent
- I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. Charm
- Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. Advice
- Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us. Bureaucracy
- The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. Government
- There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. Brings
- I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done… Anything Stupid
- Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good… Bad
- The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. Allows
- A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do… Fame
- Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. Face
- The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for… Act
- There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. Die
- After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd… All
- Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not… Burden
- If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography. Addict
- Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign… American
- Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free. Country
- Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers. Corporal
- Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics. Economics