All P.J. O'Rourke Quotes
- At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a… All
- The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals testify to… All
- The complexity of economics can be calculated mathematically. Write out the algebraic equation that is the human heart and multiply each unknown by the population… Algebraic
- Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening. America
- We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it... Choice
- Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin. Afford
- No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal Bed
- The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average. America
- Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. They are more stylish looking than single-edged razor blades and natural gas has got so… Best
- Veal is a very young beef and, like a very young girlfriend, it's cute but boring and expensive. Beef
- There are no kinder or better people in the world than those who listen to you when you are 18. Better
- When are the world's political parties going to get appropriate symbols: snake, louse, jackal, ... trash can, clown face, ... dollar bill with bat wings… Appropriate
- One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling. All
- Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes. Dishes
- Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of. Government
- It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to… Amounts
- One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And… Annoying
- Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the… April
- There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages… Alcoholic
- A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do. Brussel
- The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to… Baboons
- Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. Always Interested
- Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke English
- Politics is the art of achieving prestige and power without merit. Achieve
- To mistrust science and deny the validity of the scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work… Animal