All P.J. O'Rourke Quotes
- The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle. Burn
- France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for… August
- East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn't compulsory. Banned
- Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically. Germans
- The sky was so clear that the starlight cast shadows, and so many sparkles and glitters and glints appeared above us that it looked like… Appeared
- Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle… Blood
- If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps. Better
- The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy. Act
- I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer to walk around… Acres
- There are artists with palettes and easels selling the kind of modern art that Soviet art critics used to critique with bulldozers. Judging by the… Art
- I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example - must have realized… Bombs
- It was to be a short visit for the G-shevs. More than four days in the U.S. and Raisa's VISA card bill would shatter the… Bill
- It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation. Anti
- The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have held the summit… All
- Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there… Better
- The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg… Acquiesce
- I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice. This is the… Acting
- Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your… Abstract
- In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. Buy
- I've been a New Yorker for ten years, and the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies. Been
- Cats possess so many of the same qualities as some poeple that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart. Apart
- The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. Appearance
- Feminism is the result of a few ignorant and literal-minded women letting the cat out of the bag about which is the superior sex. Once… Bag
- No government proposal more complicated than "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private" ever works. All
- Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley! Cesspools