"I've always figured that if God wanted us……" — P.J. O'Rourke
"I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with."
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P.J. O'Rourke
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578 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke
P.J. O'Rourke has 578 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?
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Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your…
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Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
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The neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go…
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There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it…
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A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
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Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.
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Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The…
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Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
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Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.
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Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very…
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You can smoke or drink on a golf course without interrupting the game, and you can take a leak -…
See all 578 quotes by P.J. O'Rourke »
More Always Figured Quotes
This quote is filed under Always Figured Quotes,
one of 14 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I had never really pictured myself working in children's ministries. I always figured I would be more comfortable with maybe…
— Willie Aames
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Depression is something that has always figured in my life but now I'm dealing with it. I wish I'd done…
— Jack Dee
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I always figured it was best if I write my songs, take them to my publisher and just lay back.…
— Otis Blackwell
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I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for president, so I went along with them.
— Calvin Coolidge
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I always figured I'd still be playing at this age.
— Lionel Hampton
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People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you…
— Joan Rivers
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I traveled with my mother, Lela, and there was never enough money. I always had to roll down my silk…
— Ginger Rogers
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In college, I had a course in Latin, and one day the word "divorce" came up. I always figured it…
— Mitch Albom
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I was never young. Whoever I was then is dead. That's more of your quills. I don't want a hide…
— Ray Bradbury
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He’d only ever seen a gun once, a smaller one on the hip of that old deputy, a gun he’d…
— Hugh Howey
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I always figured Metropolis was north of New York, actually. Between New York and Boston, in my mind.
— Jim Lee
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Sitcoms, I always figured that would be an easy gig, but man, it is not.
— Blake Shelton
See all 14 Always Figured Quotes »