A fun thing to do during sex is to ask How's my dick look? every 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Put vodka in your water bottle and now you're the smartest parent at the school play! — Nikhil Saluja Parenting Copy Share Image
I'm a passionate man. I like some things and love others. Example: I like coming and I love leaving. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
Don't die a virgin. Remember: there are terrorists waiting for you up there! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
All a girl wants is a man to treat her right, among a million other things. — Nikhil Saluja Treat her right Copy Share Image
I really hate idiots. It's so hard to play mind games with them. — Nikhil Saluja Mind games Copy Share Image
I just hired a nineteen year-old russian girl with massive tits to babysit my kids. Now, where the fuck am I going… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Skinny people value their health, fat people McDonalds value menu. — Nikhil Saluja Fat people Copy Share Image
Expectoration: If you go to a political rally, you should EXPECTORATION. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
MAKING LOVE: Man: Call it what you want just as long as we end up in bed. Woman: The greatest expression of… — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
When life hands you lemons, squeeze lemon juice into your eyes without blinking. Just to let life know you don't play around. — Nikhil Saluja Lemon juice Copy Share Image
A secret isn't a secret unless you've ruined someone's life by telling it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People say 'better late than never' but I believe 'better never than late'. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I just wish I could disappear for a while to a place where nothing can go wrong in life. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
