Don't introduce a guy to another guy. No guy needs to know any more guys. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, everyone would call me pizza face. Not because of acne, but because I would always have pizza… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best answer to someone's stupid question is punching them in the goddamn mouth. — Nikhil Saluja Stupid question Copy Share Image
I tend to say 'I don't know' when I don't feel like thinking. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
If she skipped over that good morning text and tweeted before responding, you haven't got her yet. — Nikhil Saluja Good morning Copy Share Image
My girl came down from taking a bath, gave me a wink and said, I shaved and you know what that means?… — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex, most women are like the government. All talk, no action. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I usually admit when someone complains but that's only coz denying them requires explaining. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If A Girl Is Silent She Is Feeling Sad If A Boy Is Silent He Is Being Rude — Nikhil Saluja Feeling sad Copy Share Image
As kids if we had said, When I grow up I wanna browse my phone while sitting on the toilet we'd all… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Throughout my life, I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've missed, I've hurt, I've trusted, I've made mistakes. Most of all I've… — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. It's science. — Nikhil Saluja Science Copy Share Image
Writing. like. this. doesnt. make. your. point. any. stronger. It. makes. it. look. like. your. computer. has. asthma. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Porn Rule: Women's panties become soaked with moisture at the slightest suggestion of sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Followers, because calling them The people who are witnessing your failure is too sad. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Do you ever drop something and instead of picking it back up you just stare at on the ground and think about… — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
Good girls wax their floors Bad girls wax their bikini line Naughty girls wax your nutsack — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
