Green Monk

Dear Bitch, Beauty isn't makeup.

— Green Monk

I'm not in therapy, but my therapist is.

— Green Monk

My favorite coffee flavor is HOT.

— Green Monk

Pedophiles are immature.

— Green Monk

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

— Green Monk

Shy in the streets, sexy in the sheets ;)

— Green Monk

Tweet the tweet you want to retweet.

— Green Monk

Detours are just cockblockers for cars.

— Green Monk

I make inappropriate choices when I drink. I also make them when I'm not drinking

— Green Monk

I Met Her On Internet…it was Love from first click!

— Green Monk

Blowjobs are the only jobs that haven't been affected by this shitty economy.

— Green Monk

Cheating is easy. Try something challenging like being faithful

— Green Monk

I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.

— Green Monk

That special feeling when a baby grabs your finger with their whole hand ..

— Green Monk

I had to quit my job crushing soft drink cans. It was soda pressing.

— Green Monk

A baby just posted a picture of its mothers breast and labeled it as food porn.

— Green Monk

I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete.

— Green Monk

You can steal my tweets if you like, but I lick every single one before I tweet them.

— Green Monk

Two whales walked into a bar. One said, Weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu-hhhh. The other whale said, Shut up, Steve. You're drunk!

— Green Monk

Researchers have discovered that people will believe anything that you tell them researchers have discovered...

— Green Monk

My wife and I had words the other night. . . . . . . . . . Well, I had words; She had paragraphs.

— Green Monk

Sometimes when I look at you, I just can't help fantasizing about kicking you in the face repeatedly.

— Green Monk

If you can't beat them, join them. It's much easier to beat them once they think you're on the same side.

— Green Monk

Communication, trust, and affection, is the true foundation of every good relationship¦.. If one is missing¦.. LOVE cannot survive¦

— Green Monk

You smell wet. Let's Party.

— Green Monk

The only thing I like in office is off

— Green Monk

You call it it multiple personalities, I call it social networking in my head!

— Green Monk

There's a smudge on my computer monitor, but I think it's on your side.

— Green Monk

Teenage love is all about making him your's, not her's. (;

— Green Monk

I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own , Bitch .

— Green Monk

I would just like to point something out to you: the exit.

— Green Monk

I am dark and handsome. When it's dark, I'm handsome…

— Green Monk

April Fools' Day is probably the worst day ever to have a heart attack.

— Green Monk

All these killings needs to stop. Lets just fight over internet with CAPS ON.

— Green Monk

Hey, excuse me. You got a little Face on your Makeup.

— Green Monk

When you are driving, watch for animals that are dead ahead.

— Green Monk

Health is wealth..so keep yourself well and fit.

— Green Monk

When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?

— Green Monk

Women and their periods... It's such an ovary action...

— Green Monk

Relationships fail because Women Love too much, and Men Love too many!

— Green Monk