All Eddie Izzard Quotes
- I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. Comedy
- If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan. God
- Never put a sock in a toaster. Funny
- I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less. Die
- Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal. Buy
- I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. Coffee
- So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised!… American
- Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others. Band
- I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do. Citizens
- If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. Acid
- I use a Bruce Lee technique: 'The way of no way.' He had the idea that he would learn everything, so that whoever he had… Best
- MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic. Caught
- They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash' Called
- I wanted to be less well-known in comedy. Comedy
- If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. Comedian
- My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal. Big
- I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the… Acting
- I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses… Calling
- I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy and the psychosis… Audience
- I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I… Gaps
- I'm quite good at taking in information so I voraciously inhale Wikipedia - which may have some things wrong in it, but I think is… Channel
- In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about… Brother
- They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I… Bang
- We will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about? All
- Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon. Badger