Best Dennis Miller Words
- There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up… Abject
- When your mother starts using the word "party" as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy. Absolutely
- Any time your parent says they party with you, that is its own form of child abuse. Abuse
- I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown. Cat
- If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem. Attacked
- Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese. Cheese
- Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and… Affirming
- Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too… God
- It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity. Biggest
- Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand. Elected
- America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school. America
- Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways. Busey
- Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash.… Across
- Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention. American
- I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess. Bush
- The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt. Aids
- Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the… Assuming
- We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael… Badly
- Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. Actually Get
- I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. Comedian
- A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. Comedy
- Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time. Atheism
- There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. Funny
- The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans… Allow
- Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair? Balloon
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