Humour Quote by Alison Kemper Download Open image ““You can take that needle out of my leg now. I'd like to pull up my pants.”” — Alison Kemper ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.1 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare Humour Zombies
“I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. It's the way I take them OFF that makes me… — Jessica Park Copy Share Image
“What the hell, I think. My pistol is on my hips and my balls are between my legs.” — Daniel H. Wilson Copy Share Image
I flexed my wrist, popped a silver needle into my palm, and offered it to him. 'What's this?' 'A needle.' 'What should I do… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“Please don’t step on my penis. And pick it up off the floor if you see it’s fallen out of my pocket.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Before I grab your ass, I’ll take off my gloves. They’re cutting off circulation to my thighs.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to be able to hump people's legs and have them do nothing about it.” — Macaulay Culkin Copy Share Image
“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.” — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“She used to say, you got to figure out which end of the needle you’re gon be, the one that’s fastened to the thread… — Sue Monk Kidd Copy Share Image
“I feel like having another thigh and calf would give me a leg up on my competition.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You brought the needle & I brought the thread. We meant to mend our two broken hearts, but we ended up stitching them together.” — Amanda Lovelace Copy Share Image
“What’s this ” “A needle.” “What should I do with it ” He’d walked right into it. Too easy. “Please use it to pop… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“If I can face a street full of rabid zombies, I can tell a boy I like him. Right?” — Alison Kemper Copy Share Image
“Thank you, Deke. You are very good to me.” “I know,” he smirks. “Can I get back in your bed now?” — Alison Kemper Copy Share Image
“S’up?” he asks. My voice rattles when I answer. “N-not much. You know, reanimated corpses chasing me on a cruise ship. Same old.” — Alison Kemper Copy Share Image
“That's it. New rule: no more flirting during the zombie apocalypse” — Alison Kemper Copy Share Image
“I’m a sixteen-year-old unlicensed, inexperienced driver with a reanimated corpse blocking my view. Crazy is the only way I can drive.” — Alison Kemper Copy Share Image
“If they ever turn, let them chase me for a while. It’s always been a fantasy of mine to be chased by zombie cheerleaders.” — Alison Kemper Copy Share Image
“law that stated you didn't advertise any event you hadn't attended, any place you'd never been, or any band you didn't really listen to.” — Mhairi McFarlane Copy Share Image
To refer even in passing to unpublished or struggling authors and their problems is to put oneself at some risk, so I will say… — Kingsley Amis Copy Share Image
“Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster.” — Noelle Oxenhandler Copy Share Image
“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
It goes to show you how we in the press so often miss the big stories that are right under our noses. There is… — Roger Ebert Copy Share Image
“What if," replied Inspector Fry in the same maddeningly curteous tone, "we were all to construct daisy chains and drape them so as to… — Lyndsay Faye Copy Share Image
No woman ever yet either reasoned or acted long together consequentially; but some little thing, some love, some resentment, somepresent momentary interest, some supposed… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
“Holy shit," somebody muttered in the dark. "A virgin," sputtered another. "I didn't know they still made them." "He just did.” — Larry Kramer Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his… — David Wong Copy Share Image
Self-deprecating humour is a common form of comedy and it helps get the audience on side because you're being vulnerable. — Alex Brooker Copy Share Image
