Quote by Adam Carolla

““If you want to know where someone is at physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually, look at where they’re living.””

Adam Carolla

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More by Adam Carolla

“One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made that weird sigh when you sat down on it. I'm not a germaphobe or anything like that, but it is weird to think about all the ass time this seat had seen before we moved in. This is…

Adam Carolla

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

Adam Carolla

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I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life...so, something that is potentially four months down the road is…

Adam Carolla

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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the…

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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work,…

Adam Carolla

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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

Adam Carolla

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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

Adam Carolla

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“But our leaders can’t tell the truth. We won’t let them. We’ve created a society where the politicians aren’t allowed to criticize the people.…

Adam Carolla

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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all…

Adam Carolla

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When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

Adam Carolla