Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere. — Victoria Beryl Zelinski Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Full of fun, over-the-top characters and witty prose, with a touch of gay romance that is equally pleasing to straight readers. The… — Rhys Bowen Copy Share Image
Putting makeup on will not make people like you. Maybe you should eat makeup so you can try being pretty on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If it's a good book, anyone will read it. I'm totally unashamed about still reading things I loved in my childhood. — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain. That's my sister, he said,… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
My father liked to moralize, and so do I. But he was in earnest, while I am embarrassed and pretend that I… — Mason Cooley Copy Share Image
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Clicking REMEMBER password makes it easier for you to FORGET it. — Sivuyile Simanga_Swagga39 Copy Share Image
It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, SMART, A man who buys his wife such fine china that she will never trust him to do the dishes; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls pack their toothbrush Bad girls pack their diaphragms Naughty girls pack their dildos — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I started pooping 10 times a day because it's where I come up with my best tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
