I just want someone to compliment my new underwear. Ugh, its so hard being a salesman in this day and age. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You! — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
If you hate someone and you want to screw their life, introduce them to Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In major studio scripts, the girls are very similar. They're all witty and hot. I'm more of an oddball. — Riley Keough Copy Share Image
Women are like plug sockets. You have to stick something into all three holes before they work. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, What we have in common with the residents of all third-world countries; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit is as infinite as love, and a deal more lasting in its qualities. — Agnes Repplier Copy Share Image
People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.” — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Gritty and witty, The Chicago Way is done the classic Raymond Chandler Way. Harvey's taut plot, snappy prose, and memorable characters make… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
I've got a little baby, I made him...He doesn't speak, he's 2...He's a slow learner, he's only got 2 words...car and map...I'm… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
Sometimes I'm just a sorry away from you. You can simply apologize and hold paitence meanwhile it gets me some time to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What I need is a woman who is something, anything: either very beautiful or very kind or in the last resort very… — Alfred de Musset Copy Share Image
-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The next person who says, Its not the heat, its the humidity will learn that its not my fist, but the impact. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They say treat people the way you like to be treated. I say retweet people the way they retweet you!. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining. — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
Hope you're not allergic to nuts. Cause I'm gonna kick yours up into your throat. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh you're the type of girl that uses your personality as birth control. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The greatest fault of a penetrating wit is to go beyond the mark. — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
Make the most of What you have, When you have it, Where you are. — Eleanor Roosevelt Copy Share Image
Good girls wear white cotton panties Bad girls don't wear any Naughty girls don't really give a shit — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of my coworkers has an annoying habit, He works! Makes me look bad. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. — Voltaire Copy Share Image
Never masturbate to a fantasy involving anyone you might actually have to interact with. Trust me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Forgiveness.. It Is The Wonderful Smell That A Flower Gives., When its Being Crushed..!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“In his experience, ‘trust me’ was just a polite way of saying ‘brace yourself.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
