Um excuse me, girl with 5000 Facebook pictures...we knew what the fuck you looked like in the first 3. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If someone makes you feel wrong-footed, you're unlikely to find them witty. — Rosamund Pike Copy Share Image
If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ' Asking for a Friend — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends Over And over again that you love them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This is how we court girls in America. We grab them and kiss them. And if they don't like it, we do… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
Love is a perky lil elf dancing a merry lil jig and then,suddenly, he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Petulance is not wit, although a few grains of wit may be found in petulance; quartz is not gold, although a few… — Walter Savage Landor Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let him open your mind before he opens your Legs. The bond usually lasts longer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend said, I hate it when you finish my sentences. So I said, Period. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE LETTERS, correspondence that should always bear the salutation: My Dearest, and Gentlemen of the Jury; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago. — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
“It was your destiny - let us hope it will prove a glorious one.” — E.D.E.N. Southworth Copy Share Image
Looking at all the chances I was too afraid to take and the people I was too scared to admit my feelings… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which a woman gives the best years of her life to the man that made them so; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling. — Mary Wortley Montagu Copy Share Image
God made woman and the other day he made beer because he was like holy fuck, sorry bro. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel is, The opening of another Vagina — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman can take unpredictable to a whole new level of psycho if you test them... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
