In cheerful souls there is no wit. Wit shows a disturbance of the equipoise. — Novalis Copy Share Image
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. — William Congreve Copy Share Image
If you ask that question again ma'am, I will have to ask you your age — Shahrukh Khan Copy Share Image
This might come as a surprise to you, but your boobs go inside your shirt. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“But life is not like that. You are not an airline. You can't remove a single olive from every salad served in… — Lynn Messina Copy Share Image
Big Data is like teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is… — Dan Ariely Copy Share Image
“You get a promotion?" "I got a polite, but firm suggestion to be a team player. [...]" "You got off easy. One… — Nelson DeMille Copy Share Image
“She didn‟t look like the athletic type to me.” “Maybe Nemov carried her. He looked like he could.” “He looked like he… — Josh Lanyon Copy Share Image
“He wasn't always trying to say witty things, and when he did say them, he felt no need to repeat them for… — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“By doing ordinary actions efficiently you will become the best among ordinary, but you will not be an extraordinary.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
LOVE, The only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern . — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A lady who is much like an angler -- each think the best one got away; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a guy says he's not in mood to talk with a girl. He probably have masturbated few seconds ago. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A zen couch potato is a person who contemplates the nature of televised existence. — Richard Helms Copy Share Image
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My GirlFriend told me that she want me to act a little more like her father. So I fucked her mom. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned to say Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke in 6 languages. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
God made woman and the other day he made beer because he was like holy fuck, sorry bro. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel is, The opening of another Vagina — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman can take unpredictable to a whole new level of psycho if you test them... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
![“You get a promotion?" "I got a polite, but firm suggestion to be a team player. [...]" "You got off easy. One of my commanding officers once threw a paperweight at me." "We're a bit more subtle.” quote by Nelson DeMille](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a42/nelson-demille-3019_funny_you-get-a-promotion-i-got-a-polite-but-f_1727720.jpg)
