If a guy says he's not in mood to talk with a girl. He probably have masturbated few seconds ago. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A zen couch potato is a person who contemplates the nature of televised existence. — Richard Helms Copy Share Image
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My GirlFriend told me that she want me to act a little more like her father. So I fucked her mom. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit implies hatred or contempt of folly and crime, produces its effects by brisk shocks of surprise, uses the whip of scorpions… — Edwin Percy Whipple Copy Share Image
“Mistresses, have you ever noticed that when we disagree with a male- I hesitate to say 'man'- or find ourselves in a… — Tamora Pierce Copy Share Image
Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to… — Lyndon B. Johnson Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a rite which a clergyman should perform at no charge -- don't they say that you shouldn't profit by other… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What I need is a woman who is something, anything: either very beautiful or very kind or in the last resort very… — Alfred de Musset Copy Share Image
Observe it, the vulgar often laugh, but never smile, whereas well-bred people often smile, and seldom or never laugh. A witty thing… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
My wife and I both made a list of 5 people we could sleep with...she read hers out and there were no… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
I've learned to say Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke in 6 languages. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'll publish, right or wrong: / Fools are my theme, let satire be my song. — Lord Byron Copy Share Image
You are growing... when you know what you are but not what you will become. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a witty person, but a pebble in the hands of a fool. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. — Freddie Mercury Copy Share Image
If you think rightly, every problem is financial problem or eventually becomes one — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Do not lie to a woman , eventually she will figure out the truth anyway. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Turning 32 years old is significant, because at 32 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One should have wit, but not wish to have it; otherwise there will be witticism, the Alexandrian style of wit. — Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel Copy Share Image
I named my first born child after my mother-in-law. In fact, lazy fat ass bitch turns 5 tomorrow. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can't think. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
