I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction. — Clarence Darrow Copy Share Image
CORPORATE You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, Someone who is too beautiful for words -- but not for arguments; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, HAPPY, a union which is in full flower when the husband knows what to remember and his wife understands what to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I often feel I'm a disappointment to people because they expect me to be the guy in the books. When I sit… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting… — Isabel Allende Copy Share Image
When someone says wow you are a pervert , look at them, smile & say it took you this long to figure that out? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I like the face a girl makes, when another girl she hates shows up on her Twitter timeline. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a weird dream last night that I murdered 4 people who unfollowed me on twitter. But woke up relieved to find… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well. It were done quickly. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“Is there a word for 'total screaming genius' that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?” — Steven Moffat Copy Share Image
Everyone striving to be witty and sought-after, everyone talking and no one listening... — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
