It is a poor wit who lives by borrowing the words, decisions, mien, inventions and actions of others. — Johann Kaspar Lavater Copy Share Image
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Creativity without discipline will struggle, creativity with discipline will succeed.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
If you want to be witty, work on your character and say what you think on every occasion. — Stendhal Copy Share Image
John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Good,’ he said. ‘Cause Maggie’s all the nightmare I can take.’ I smiled. ‘Gus, I never knew you dreamed of me.’ He… — Jessica Shirvington Copy Share Image
Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray.(when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought… — Seymour Cray Copy Share Image
I was a kid during the height of the Cold War. If I did something wrong, my parents just accused me of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit is the most dangerous talent you can possess. It must be guarded with great discretion and good-nature, otherwise it will create… — John Gregory Copy Share Image
Broken hearts, love's deceit, pieces fall down to my feet. Broken promises, love's a lie, puddles form from the tears I cry. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I would like to be able to admire a man's opinions as I would his dog - without being expected to take… — Frank A. Clark Copy Share Image
“He was as obsequious as a Japanese ivy plant. Wringing his hands as if he hoped to squeeze the milk of human… — Philip Kerr Copy Share Image
LOVE, A word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle aged, and the mutual dependence… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere. — Victoria Beryl Zelinski Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Clicking REMEMBER password makes it easier for you to FORGET it. — Sivuyile Simanga_Swagga39 Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pick up lines never work...I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive. — Kate Upton Copy Share Image
Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
