Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
This Is The Beginning Of A New Day! You Have Been Given This Day To Use As You Will! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear teacher, I talk no matter where I am. Moving my seat will not help. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wit is an intermittent fountain; kindness is a perennial spring. — Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach Copy Share Image
There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels. — Denise Mina Copy Share Image
If my tweets offend you: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It won't happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You're a pussy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Most women defend themselves. It is the female of the species-it is the tigress and lioness in you which tends to defend… — Margaret Thatcher Copy Share Image
The next time you find yourself in an argument, rather than defend your position, see if you can see the other point… — Richard Carlson Copy Share Image
Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Can you tell me the difference between a witch and a wizard?Sure, a wizard is what they call you when they want… — Barbara Hambly Copy Share Image
A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should… — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
No man should travel until he has learned the language of the country he visits. Otherwise he voluntarily makes himself a great… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I have a city girls attitude and a country girls aim... Keep pushing me and you'll see BOTH!! — Sarah Moores Copy Share Image
“If you want the truth from someone, just make them angry.” — Jason Gabriel Kondrath Copy Share Image
It is a poor wit who lives by borrowing the words, decisions, mien, inventions and actions of others. — Johann Kaspar Lavater Copy Share Image
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Creativity without discipline will struggle, creativity with discipline will succeed.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you want to be witty, work on your character and say what you think on every occasion. — Stendhal Copy Share Image
The best material model of a cat is another, or preferably the same, cat. — Norbert Wiener Copy Share Image
Mostly all famous inventions start off as an accidents. For instance, my invention of running over cats. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are thoughtful... when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the loser keeps his smile, the winner will loose the thrill of victory. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
The only possible conclusion the social sciences can draw is: some do, some don't. — Ernest Rutherford Copy Share Image
Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
Advertising in the final analysis should be news. If it is not news it is worthless. — Adolph Ochs Copy Share Image
Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
