Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The art of being agreeable frequently miscarries through the ambition which accompanies it. Wit, learning, wisdom,--what can more effectually conduce to the… — Richard Cumberland Copy Share Image
Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny. — Donny Norris Copy Share Image
“Seto Kaiba [to Ishizu]: Are you sure you can trust me, Ishizu...? What if I retrieve the three rare cards...but refuse to… — Kazuki Takahashi Copy Share Image
What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Any life-form advanced enough to travel light-years through interstellar space would have nothing to learn by probing the rectums of farmers in… — Dan Brown Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't… — Mo Rocca Copy Share Image
My best friend told me about a great 80's porn site. I fucking hope he meant the 1980's. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um...… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Be completely honest - have you ever met someone who you thought was truly clever or interesting or witty who wore fawn? — Claudia Winkleman Copy Share Image
We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly,… — Alain de Botton Copy Share Image
Boys, Women are easy. Tell them they're pretty. Compliment some shit. Fuck them like you hate them. Easy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear teacher, I talk no matter where I am. Moving my seat will not help. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
