If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ' Asking for a Friend — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MARRIED LIFE, is like the pleasure experienced when getting into a warm bath -- after a while it's not so hot — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Many get the repute of being witty but thereby lose the credit of being sensible. Jest has its little hour, seriousness should… — Baltasar Gracian Copy Share Image
You can always win an argument with a lady during your last few minutes of your life by telling her that she's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, audacious… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend. — Francis Bacon Copy Share Image
I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Being overly smart is obnoxious, being wise is a turn on. There’s something irresistible about someone you can learn from. The need… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our way is not soft grass; it's a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards, forward, toward the sun. — Ruth Westheimer Copy Share Image
Wit lies in recognizing the resemblance among things which differ and the difference between things which are alike. — Madame de Stael Copy Share Image
In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I like the face a girl makes, when another girl she hates shows up on her Twitter timeline. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before… — Bernard Manning Copy Share Image
Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are loving... when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let love comes to you, be patient. In fairy tales they don't find each other until the last page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago. — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
“It was your destiny - let us hope it will prove a glorious one.” — E.D.E.N. Southworth Copy Share Image
Looking at all the chances I was too afraid to take and the people I was too scared to admit my feelings… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling. — Mary Wortley Montagu Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which a woman gives the best years of her life to the man that made them so; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends Over And over again that you love them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let him open your mind before he opens your Legs. The bond usually lasts longer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
