If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Neatness of phrase is so closely akin to wit that it is often accepted as its substitute. — Agnes Repplier Copy Share Image
“All women may not be beautiful but every woman can look beautiful.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton says she's the most qualified because she was married to a president for eight years. Now let me ask you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People who live in an age of corruption are witty and slanderous; they know that there are other kinds of murder than… — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty… — Honore de Balzac Copy Share Image
A vivid portrait of a teenage girl and her family in disarray. Meredith is a wonderful narrator, witty, feisty, full of yearning,… — Margot Livesey Copy Share Image
Audiences always love the baddies. Especially these ones that are so witty and charming and outrageously devious - everything you're not supposed… — Birgitte Hjort Sørensen Copy Share Image
Twitter is just a great joke laboratory. You go in there and there are so many witty people that I know any… — Michael Kupperman Copy Share Image
If you recall childhood, you may remember that the kids who stuck straws and cigarettes up their noses back then seemed funnier… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
“One of the great advantages of having a library,your eminence, is that it is full of books.” — Michael Hirst Copy Share Image
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are caregivers and there are caretakers, and yet the two words are not opposites. Why is this? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I were in this business only for the business, I wouldn't be in this business. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
''SYMPATHY''... You can get from Anybody -- But...!! ''JEALOUSY''... You have to Earn it…!!!!!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just need a search engine that'll remember exactly what I was about to Google when I forget. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit is the most rascally, contemptible, beggarly thing on the face of the earth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We find ourselves less witty in remembering what we have said than in dreaming of what we would have said. — Jean Antoine Petit-Senn Copy Share Image
When I got my first TV set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships with other people. — Andy Warhol Copy Share Image
It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we dont talk, he works out alone, and I go home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
The only possible conclusion the social sciences can draw is: some do, some don't. — Ernest Rutherford Copy Share Image
Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
Advertising in the final analysis should be news. If it is not news it is worthless. — Adolph Ochs Copy Share Image
Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
