Witty Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 35

You know why the US can't find Osama Bin Laden? They're using the wrong agency to look for him. Don't send the…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only game that two can play and both win;

— Nikhil Saluja

If you want a Romeo start acting like a Juliet.

— Nikhil Saluja

My cock got caught in my zipper today....at least that's what I'm telling my wife when she sees the teeth marks on…

— Nikhil Saluja

To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To…

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The balm that heals the wounds that words make.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you hate someone and you want to screw their life, introduce them to Twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook? You mean that thing pussies use to bitch about their problems?

— Nikhil Saluja

In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood.

— Nikhil Saluja

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was…

— Nikhil Saluja

Why do they put alcohol on the arm of a death row inmate before they give him the needle? Are they afraid…

— Nikhil Saluja

Get excited! Today is the first day of the rest of your week.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while!

— Nikhil Saluja

After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a…

— Nikhil Saluja

Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls.

— Nikhil Saluja

INFATUATION, A wasting disease easily cured -- by marriage

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a female hypochondriac marries a pill;

— Nikhil Saluja

For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just killed a spider and there's blood everywhere because the spider was on my wife's face. I'm a murderer, guys.

— Nikhil Saluja

To me, drink responsibly means don't spill it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, What is left of a lover, after the nerve has been removed;

— Nikhil Saluja

If my tweets offend you: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It won't happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You're a pussy.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A word that should be pronounced as mirage;

— Nikhil Saluja