Witty Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 19

Good girls own only one credit card & rarely use Bad girls own only one bra & rarely use Naughty girls own…

— Nikhil Saluja

I got a teenage daughter and a menopausal wife. One's getting breasts, one's getting whiskers. My life is over.

— Nikhil Saluja

If A Girl Is Shopping She Is Trendy If A Boy Is Shopping He Is Wasting Money

— Nikhil Saluja

You Can Waste It Or Use It For Good! What You Do Today Is Important Because You Are Exchanging A Day Of…

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only…

— Nikhil Saluja

There is nothing like love in this world unless you experience it.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A confrontation which always demands the greatest understanding of the subtle art of insincerity possible between two human beings;

— Nikhil Saluja

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which the husband knows when to remember and a wife knows what to forget;

— Nikhil Saluja

Love Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

— Nikhil Saluja

BRB Have to run to the toilet, but I'll be back in two shakes of a man's penis.

— Nikhil Saluja

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

— Nikhil Saluja

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

— Nikhil Saluja

My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds.

— Nikhil Saluja

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

— Nikhil Saluja

Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall .... And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch ....…

— Nikhil Saluja

Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years.

— Nikhil Saluja

The sight of a womans cleavage reduces a mans ability to think clearly by 50%....per boob.

— Nikhil Saluja

Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;)

— Nikhil Saluja

If I was a serial killer I'd use my knife to make strangers kiss in front of me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Statistically, 10% of women will find this joke offensive. The other 90% are in the kitchen, where they fucking should be!

— Nikhil Saluja

I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets

— Nikhil Saluja