The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I followed you back after 15 minutes of following me, I was just pretending to be busy & I failed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Theres two kinds of women: The kind that get married and have a bunch of kids, and The kind that stay single… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
CORPORATE You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, Someone who is too beautiful for words -- but not for arguments; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, HAPPY, a union which is in full flower when the husband knows what to remember and his wife understands what to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When someone says wow you are a pervert , look at them, smile & say it took you this long to figure that out? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I like the face a girl makes, when another girl she hates shows up on her Twitter timeline. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a weird dream last night that I murdered 4 people who unfollowed me on twitter. But woke up relieved to find… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
