I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I had five dollars in the bank that I couldn't have for three days until they charged me another 15. Leaving me… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You know when you see a mother someplace just melting down on her kid? She's like, 'Shut up, I hate you, you're… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
![“I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.” quote by Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5cc/louis-c-k-1150_blackberries_i-wish-i-could-keep-a-journal-i-have-a-l_400300.jpg)
