...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
If the whole country had to have the same conversation that was safe for everybody, it would be a pretty awful place… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
My show is sort of a short-film anthology, and I'm able to tell little stories that don't necessarily carry a whole episode… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I did a show in New Jersey in the auditorium of a technical high school ... Technical high school, that's where dreams… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's people that say “It's not fair You have all that stuff.” I wasn't born with it. It was a horrible process… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Race doesn't mean what it used to in America anymore. It just doesn't. Obama's black, but he's not black the way people… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
