“A brick could be used to stall for time when the police are searching your place looking for a missing person. I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In the future, I’ll be furniture. Step on me now or sit on me later, but either way let me know how… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A part-time worker is fully employed, half the time. In other words, they are part-time unemployees.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If instead of a handshake you hold out a fist for a fist bump, I’ll wrap my hand around your fist like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“As we were walking home the other night, Orafoura turned to me and said, “Were you aware that there are places in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love had two wings and rhymed with “mutter-lie,” could I be your caterpillar? All I’m asking for is a little time… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dating is all about getting to know somebody, without wasting a lot of time or money. What is the price of love?… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Thinking ahead is like remembering the future. How about that time we made love? I’ll bet it will be amazing.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Give yourself a hug, and while you are embracing yourself, use that time to hold yourself together.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s not uncommon for me to be early to meetings by as much as a half a gallon. I guess the reason… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To blame me in the past is a very future me thing to do. But what am I supposed to do, scapegoat… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to tell you exactly what I mean, at precisely the moment I don’t mean it. When I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Women, if I understood them half as well as I understand fractions, I'd have said a third. But I don't have time… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I spend all my time trying to capture the moment. And when I do, I'll interrogate and torture it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes writing is easy. Other times it’s as hard as trying to eat a whole whale, after the whale has just eaten… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with others, because you get… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick can be used to represent a ruin, or the beginning of new construction. With a brick, the past is the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I could tell I loved her from the moment I saw her, right after she opened the trunk, untied me, and took… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My love is as blue as the sky, and if I had to attach a time to it I’d say midnight.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I tried to make it out in the moment, while we were making out, but now I’ve got it. That odor was… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If my initials were Y.E.S., I’d probably go around smiling all the time.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The future is right around the corner from a bar called, “Yesterdays.” I know, I work there every tomorrow.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
