I have the kind of show that reminds you of your problems, and then I talk about other problems you didn't even… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If I was a freak of nature... Hell yeah I wanna do freak shows! I don't wanna be applying for jobs at… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I have a picture I keep in my wallet of my father's corpse... I keep that picture in my wallet to show… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I don't like being in the UK for every other reason aside from the show. It's aesthetically uncomfortable to me on almost… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Steal my stuff off the internet wherever you can and don't apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I love playing in the UK because there are some topics that you just can't talk about in the States without getting… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I drink during every show. I can't remember the last show I did completely sober. It works for me. I use it… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
he ones that bother me the most are the media saying, "He's like the next Bill Hicks." It's supposed to be complimentary,… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I drink every night. But I don't hang out and party. Not that I'm selling out Madison Square Garden, but in the… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying:… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
![“The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need to be known anymore than I am. The slight sliver of fame I do have is hard to deal with. If I was actually well-known - I don't even know what to say to people…” quote by Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/34c/doug-stanhope-1528_acting_the-whole-acting-and-hollywood-thing-it_124805.jpg)
