I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Even your religious friends do not want to hear about God during a medical diagnosis. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I don't ever want to become Bill Maher where I have to find some strong opinion on something just because it's in… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I'm in a perfect position. I don't want to be more famous and I can't lose sponsors, so I can say anything… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don't want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual,… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I don't like life that much. It's not that big a deal for me... I don't want to know I have cancer… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
"Close your mouth when you chew." That was my mother's big one.Why do people eat lunch together? I want to eat by… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Canada, the drinking age is 18, that's unnecessary. Nobody wants to get loaded around people who have hope and their whole lives… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
People want an idol. They want royalty. They don't want a public servant. Hell no. They want someone to clap for and… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I couldn't possibly explain why the common person would be against something like that. It's all rooted in sexual hang-ups. The whole… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying:… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image