I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I'll defend child pornography, how about that? What's wrong with seeing some child pornography? What if you watch child pornography because you… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If I was a freak of nature... Hell yeah I wanna do freak shows! I don't wanna be applying for jobs at… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If you get made fun of working at Pier One Imports, you can't pelt them with poop. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
You're born absolutely free except for laws of nature, if you drink you get drunk, that's a law, if you get old… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If you get offended by words - by noises we make with our mouths - it means you were raised by bad… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Comedy can always be taken the wrong way. If I do a bit that is meant to diffuse racism or sexism, Im… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If you need a baby that bad, go down to the pound and get one. Not even a baby - go get… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt? — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If I have to be a monotheist, y'know pick one, I'm picking vodka, it goes well with everything, all occasions. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don't want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual,… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
You say you hate children and people always say the same thing; it would be different if it was your own child.… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If second hand smoke is killing that many people and nicotine is so addictive then why is no one addicted to second… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I don't have a gun. But I think they level the playing field. I accept that there's really nothing you can do… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If you tell me you are going to kill yourself, I'm not going to try to talk you out of it. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The Internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying:… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
![“The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to…” quote by Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/34c/doug-stanhope-1528_acting_the-whole-acting-and-hollywood-thing-it_124805.jpg)
