Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the TELEPHONE GUY says, Would you like it On the table or against the wall? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I want to sit on my right hand so it feels like someone else is stopping me from masturbating. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder if your ass is jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The rumors you heard about me may be true. But then again they might be as FAKE as the bitch that told… — Ashley Rosales Copy Share Image
Trash talked by many. Hated by some. Guess how many fucks I give? It's less than one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I ask to suck your boobs when I wake up, does that count as sleeping like a baby? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If ugliness was measured in bricks, you would be the great wall of China. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Like your Mom was a Poet Girl? I see you take after her with your lyrics !! — Glen Rambharack Copy Share Image
Plz don't sit around and run yo mouth about me..find something else to do with your time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People are going to talk no matter what you do, so you might as well give them something to talk about. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How about this, you remove Funny/Model from your bio and let me be the judge of that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BITCH, how bout you put some sand in your vagina, make them crabs feel more at home. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are no relationship problems that can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are sick bro! You need to go check out a sex Therapist? You want my Sex therapist phone number? — Glen Rambharack Copy Share Image
Why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable, sweetheart...like a coma. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm not calling you a slut I'm calling you a penny because your two faced worthless and in everybody's pants — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't want to sell out the girl, but I meet her on face book recently, she is a nice ting with… — Glen Rambharack Copy Share Image
When being around ppl who don't like you, the best revenge is to look hot af to give them a reason to… — Sabrina Beaubian Copy Share Image
I'm well aware when i've to use suck me or fuck me. Yea I'm classy like that! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
