Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When they told me I needed a mastectomy, I thought of the thousands of luncheons and dinners I had attended where they… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
