If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing-up.” — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
To me there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“I hate when art becomes a religion. I feel the opposite. When you start putting a higher value on works of art… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant,… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful,… — Woody Allen Copy Share
I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't want to give me money to make films, that will stop me. But as long as people come all over the world and I have an audience and I have ideas for films, I will do… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
![“I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.” quote by Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/925/woody-allen-176_angel_i-call-that-mind-free-which-jealously-gu_1830751.jpg)
![“I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.” quote by Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/85a/woody-allen-176_faith_i-do-feel-it-s-important-to-have-some-ki_1160425.jpg)
