Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I remember the day I saw my hair was thinning. I don't remember caring much. I don't care. It's just hair. It… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I find that when people laugh really hard, it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Plenty of crazy people in New York. There are so many crazy people here, I think it's like one out of every… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Well, I think “likability” is an overused word. I don’t watch people 'cause I like them; I watch them because they’re compelling.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I killed my Facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn't resting and it isn't… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
To me, there's a huge difference between criticism and reviewing. I really love reading good criticism of television and film. To me,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
People come back from flights and tell you a story like it's a horror story. That's how bad they make it sound.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
People are too afraid of uptown. A lot of people will tell you, like, "Don't go to Harlem. You can never go… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I look around, pretty much 100% of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
