People discuss their relationships all the time, but you can't. I don't think people realize how harmful that is, how it twists… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'm friends with a lot of writers and so many of them say how much they hate signings and how they leave… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I spend so much time like living in the past or the future. I mean, I think most people do, really. And… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In New York I'd go to the movies three or four times a week. Here I've upped it to six or seven,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I don't think I'm a witty person. To me, a witty person is a funny person who is also a smart person.… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I think it's good to have the alone time. Well, I kind of have to, because I have to be alone in… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
