Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Hello there. I'm out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you're anybody, I'll get back to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image