He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better,… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If I was to see any of my films now I would feel, oh god you know it's awful I could do… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I've never had a block. I'm talking within the limits of my abilities. But in my own small way, I've had an… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
