Marriage Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 5

A woman goes to a palm reader and hears that her husband will die a violent death. She asks, Will I be…

— Nikhil Saluja

A sneeze is like a little orgasm. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes and think about your twitter crush.

— Nikhil Saluja

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A ceremony favoured in England -- it's the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A bargain, and a sensible person understands that someone must get the better of any bargain;

— Nikhil Saluja

There's no place like home. Especially when we're talking about The best place to take a shit.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when either party is good at taking orders

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The only adventure open to the cowardly;

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been in love with the same woman for 10 years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me!

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, SMART, A man who is never so busy bringing home the bacon that he forgets the applesauce;

— Nikhil Saluja

A boss while trying to piss off an employee, So! I hear you got a small dick?! Smart employee: Does your wife…

— Nikhil Saluja

If God Was A Woman.... Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, Something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course;

— Nikhil Saluja

If God Was A Woman.... A man's paycheck would be made payable to his wife

— Nikhil Saluja

Never strike your wife, even with a flower.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was getting;

— Nikhil Saluja

I have a thing for people who unfollow me, it's called hate.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A rite where two people, under the influence most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required…

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife got naked & asked me to show her a good time. So I showed her photos of me & my…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A process much like a cafeteria -- you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best -- and pay…

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, What a man blames things on when he can't figure a way to blame the government;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A very good way to promote civilisation -- if you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm like State Farm; when her husband leaves, I bang his wife 'like a good neighbor'.

— Nikhil Saluja

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore... A friend of mine was wearing one yesterday when he got stabbed by the woman's husband.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason.

— Nikhil Saluja