Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.'… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
