There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'll have to look into [Washington] D.C. a bit more. I know it's given over to the administration and the bureaucracy connected… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I know there's similar dissatisfaction in America. There's a lot of white people who come from blue collar backgrounds and who feel… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, "Don't go outside! Or… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I just wish I had longer. It's very frustrating. As you know, to people over here, cities like [Washington] D.C. are iconic.… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I was fat! I was pustule-rich! I looked like a pink human grenade! When did I blossom into the irresistible little orchid… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
We all know smoking is bad. I know I'm going to quit someday, if I thought I wasn't I'd quit now. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Men don't know anything! Men don't know when their lives became so entirely awful, when everyone else turned into such a tosser!… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know; mobile phone tumours - far more likely… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You're never going to go. Why would you go? It's a disgusting place. It's always wet even when it's dry. There's nothing… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't mind most religious people, I talk to them. I listen to them, you know, banging on. "I prayed very hard… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that's ok,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image