There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'm very drawn to Eastern Europe, so I like a Hungarian writer who wrote in French called Emil Cioran; he was always… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I get a phone call once every 18 months from some mad person who wants me to do something for less than… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You can laugh at somebody because they are innocent, and because they are naive or they are about to walk into a… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
It's such a bullshit move. Transparently so. It's obviously supposed to give succor to people who feel pissed off because someone from… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that's ok,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
![“[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1cd/dylan-moran-1716_adulthood_adulthood-feels-like-walking-around-in-t_74575.jpg)
![“The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after the election when [Donald] Trump is no longer in the picture. God, I can't wait for that. I hope he just goes away.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/134/dylan-moran-1716_election_the-sensible-thing-for-everyone-to-do-wo_176038.jpg)
