I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
People do need a social license to go, "Ha ha ha," and have a good time. It's a strange thing. There's a… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
What is universal can be surprising. Over time you find the kind of stuff which has people thinking 'That is just something… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I write all the time, but you just want to be careful what you put out. That's all. You want to have… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.' — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I dislike both of [candidates] but there's obviously no choice in the election - if you're concerned about the future of anything,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine for a long time. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Maybe this is just me, but as time goes by, I'm more bewildered by modernity. It gets more unfathomable with every passing… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Idioms are a big thing in Ireland. They want to fill the time, to show how good they are at talk -… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Everybody does that now. We all take pics... you do the same with holiday photos. You record something to look back on… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
“People will kill you. Over time. They will shave out every last morsel of fun in you with little, harmless sounding phrases… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that's ok,… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
![“I dislike both of [candidates] but there's obviously no choice in the election - if you're concerned about the future of anything, you need to vote for Hillary Clinton.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/644/dylan-moran-1716_candidates_i-dislike-both-of-candidates-but-there-s_1943562.jpg)
![“People will kill you. Over time. They will shave out every last morsel of fun in you with little, harmless sounding phrases that people uses every day, like: 'Be realistic!'" [ What It Is (2009)]” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/ea5/dylan-moran-1716_ambition_people-will-kill-you-over-time-they-will_2357133.jpg)
![“[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1cd/dylan-moran-1716_adulthood_adulthood-feels-like-walking-around-in-t_74575.jpg)
![“The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after the election when [Donald] Trump is no longer in the picture. God, I can't wait for that. I hope he just goes away.” quote by Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/134/dylan-moran-1716_election_the-sensible-thing-for-everyone-to-do-wo_176038.jpg)
